Top 3 Diet Comments from Friends and Family That Make Your Eyes Roll
Moving away from diet culture is challenging enough, but comments made by close friends and family can sometimes question or derail our progress.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been sitting happily at a dinner table enjoying something delicious (a burger/doughnut/ice cream/seconds) and a Great Aunt or cousin or friend has commented on what I’m munching on.
Gaaahhhh…it drives me bananas. I know how to handle it now, but when I was younger it’d throw me and make me feel like crap.
So in this post, we’ll explore the top 3 diet comments from others and discuss how to handle them while staying true to our non-diet principles. It’s the blog post I needed 10 years ago!
COmment #1: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
The classic guilt-inducing comment
This unwelcome comment is a classic example of the kind of guilt-inducing question that’ll make anyone feel self-conscious about their food choice. Whether it’s a slice of cake at a birthday party or a hearty meal at a restaurant, this comment isn’t welcome! Hearing this question can trigger feelings of shame and doubt about our eating habits.
Understanding why they said it
If you receive this comment, remember that it’s not about you before you start questioning your food choices. Society has ingrained in us that certain foods are “good” while others are “bad”, and eating the latter is generally met with judgement, guilt and shame.
A lot of the time, the person saying it is projecting their own food insecurities onto you probably because they are so deep in diet culture that they are trying to sabotage your positive eating habits. Additionally, there may be a possible sprinkle of envy that you’re enjoying something free from guilt when they might find food so stressful.
How to respond
“Yes, I'm sure. I'm really enjoying it. Thanks for your concern though.”
"I appreciate your concern, but I'm comfortable with my food choices. Let's focus on enjoying our meal together."
"I understand where you're coming from, but I'm trying to listen to my body and honour what it's asking for. It's all about balance for me."
"I'm confident in my food choices and I am really enjoying this meal. Let's not talk about food and focus on having a good time."
Comment #2 "You are so good, I wish I had your willpower!"
The misconception of needing more willpower
We’ve all been led to believe that success in maintaining a healthy lifestyle is down to willpower alone. Then a lot of the time the concept of “being good” is associated with restriction. Think about the number of times you or someone else says “I’m/you being good” when ordering a salad or something society deems “healthy”.
It's a huge misconception that success in maintaining healthy habits relies solely on willpower when in reality, it's it’s nothing about willpower, it's all to do with the relationship you have with food and your body.
Fueling disordered eating behaviours
This comment feeds into the idea that being “good” with food means having willpower and strict control over what we eat. It suggests that some foods are “bad” and eating them makes us a “bad” person or a “bad” day. This keeps us stuck in the cycle of labelling foods as either good or bad and makes us feel guilty for enjoying certain foods.
It also affirms the belief that sticking to strict diets and controlling our eating is something that is accepted and to aim for. But the truth is, everyone’s relationship with food is different and we all have different needs, preferences and requirements when it comes to nutrition which means everyone’s diet is going to be different.
How to respond:
"Thank you for the compliment! I've been learning to listen to my body and honour what it needs. It's not about willpower for me, it's about finding balance and enjoying life. Let's dig into this meal together!"
"Thank you for your kind words! I've worked hard to create a healthy relationship with food. It's not about willpower, but about nourishing my body with food that makes it feel good and this does the job."
"I appreciate your compliment! I need to clarify that it's not about willpower. Instead, I prioritise self-care and listening to my body's needs. Let's chat about something else and catch up on other things!"
#3 "But the [diet name] worked for me!"
Understanding individual experience with dieting
Sure, a specific diet might have worked wonders for your friend, family or colleague but that doesn’t mean it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. Every person is unique and what works for one person, may not work for another.
It comes back to the idea that, even if we all ate the same food or did the same amount of exercise, we would all still look different.
Respectfully disagreeing while maintaining friendships
So, when someone boasts about how the [diet name] led to X amount of weight loss, it's okay to nod and smile politely, but that doesn't mean you have to jump on the bandwagon. Instead of feeling pressured to follow in their footsteps, it's important to respect your own journey and trust your gut instincts.
After all, you know your body better than anyone else and if you know that dieting has led you to a difficult relationship with food and binge eating, then you know it’s not the path for you.
Plus you never know what goes on behind closed doors with your friend's eating habits.
How to respond
“I am glad you’ve found something that works for you! It’s so interesting how different approaches to eating can affect us all in different ways.”
“I’m happy it’s worked for you, I have chosen to focus on health away from restrictive measures like that diet. I found I always ended up finding food really stressful and it wasn’t sustainable long-term!”
“That's great to hear! I've personally decided to step away from strict counting methods like that. I found it put a lot of pressure on me and my life and took away from the joy of eating. I'm focusing more on making all foods fit and listening to my body.”
Navigating through diet culture and handling comments from your friends and family when your practising a non-diet approach can be challenging. However, by understanding the underlying reasons behind these comments and responding with confidence can help set boundaries with those around you.
Ready to take your journey towards food freedom to the next level? Download my free masterclass now for practical strategies to break free from dieting and binge eating cycles.
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